Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
