whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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