Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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