That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize