So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
