Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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