Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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