a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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