I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
