a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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