i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
