Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
