I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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