his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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