if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
