gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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