tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the day after is always just damage control
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
