He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we have officially lost it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
