i don't like sucking hair
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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