I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do herpes really smell.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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