I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
