You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
