great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
