We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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