They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
