how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
