He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
