does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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