think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize