What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
