I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
