Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
