So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
