He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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