FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
