i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
