I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
