Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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