This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
