just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
