on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
