i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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