It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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