At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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