PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
