Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
