It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
