she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
