So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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