Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
