he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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