i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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