I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
