We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
