the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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