Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
