Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
