just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize