Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
