it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
