Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
