he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
