Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
