Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
