I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize