Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
not ubering you a puppy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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