She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
