I got chris browned last night
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize